A Woman’s Place is in the Home?

Like most women of her generation mom did not work outside the home. With five children to raise I’m sure she had days where going to work might have seemed like a holiday compared to the mountains of laundry to do, meals to cook and a house to keep clean! Once we five children were older and self-sufficient and, being the friendly people person that she was, mom wanted to work outside the home. But the standard reply from our father when she broached the topic with him was that she couldn’t earn money because it would affect his taxes. I suspect there was also an element of the male thinking at the time that a wife working outside the home implied that he could not adequately support his family (which was not the case). Not to be deterred, mom found a surprising variety of work to do over the years, without actually having a “real job”.

Things are Going Swimmingly

One of the earliest things I remember mom doing was teaching swimming. After making sure that we five all knew how to swim, she received her bronze medallion and instructor’s qualification and taught swimming classes at the local pool. She made a splash (no pun intended) in the local media when she started teaching moms and babes classes which at the time was quite revolutionary.

Into her eighties mom continued to enjoy swimming, and her grandchildren and great grandchildren were the beneficiaries of her teaching. It’s a testament to how important this was to mom that she still had her bronze medallion and instructors card when she passed away.

Betty Has Skills

Over the years mom was very creative at finding jobs that wouldn’t interfere with her “duties” at home. One paying job she did have was working at federal and provincial elections. She started out as a poll clerk and over the years worked her way up to being a Deputy Returning Officer in charge of a polling location. She was very proud of the responsibility this entailed. For many years she also did door-to-door census taking. Hard to believe but, yes, in pre-internet days real people would come to your door and complete a census form for you. This too was a paying job for mom. Dad did consent to mom doing these paid jobs as they happened only once every few years and so he had a hard time making the argument that it would mess up his taxes….. Mom loved it as it gave her some spending money of her own.

The Heart of the Matter

One of mom’s favorite volunteer jobs was canvassing for the Heart and Stroke Foundation. I’m not sure how she started doing this, but I think it might have been related to the walking club mom and dad attended which was sponsored by the Heart and Stroke Foundation. Being the people person that she was, mom relished the opportunity to go door -to-door and meet new people. And of course in Betty fashion, she made several new friends along the way. It didn’t seem to bother her that this job involved asking people for money and I do believe she was quite successful at it. After all, could you say no to a sweet little old lady standing at your door asking for a donation?

Model Behavior

For your average person, mom was in the newspaper quite a bit, usually about her volunteer work. One of these times was highlighting her participation in the Building Better Bones study done at one of our local universities. Once a week for several weeks she made the trek out to the university to participate and when it was all done, her picture was used in news articles across the country about the study. She was also chosen to be the model for the instruction booklet that was produced.

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And by now you will not be surprised to know that mom made friends with all the people involved in the study, including the research staff, and kept in touch with them long after the study was done.

Moving On to New Things

After dad passed away mom moved into an independent living residence where she flourished and continued to find new things to do. As one of the first people to move into the residence and with her open friendly demeanor, it was a natural for mom to be on the welcoming committee. Needless to say, it did not take long for her to make friends with pretty much everyone who lived there. Ever the gracious hostess, when we visited we knew not to be in a hurry, as she would introduce us to everyone we encountered and have an interesting tidbit to tell about them which of course led to a conversation.

When mom was asked to be in a fashion show at the residence she immediately said yes despite never having done anything like that before, and when a drama group was formed she was one of the first to sign up and relished the chance to display her dramatic side. She did not let the fact that she was well into her 80s when taking on these new things stop her.

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As I look back at all the things that mom did, I find myself wondering what career she might have chosen had she had the opportunity. For sure it would have been something that involved meeting a lot of people and I have no doubt that she would have been very successful at whatever she chose to do. Despite not having a formal career, she did provide a wonderful example for her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren as to the value of contributing to the community through volunteer work and, of not being afraid to dive in and try new things regardless of your age.

I also wonder what she thought of today’s working, independent moms and the dads who are right beside them carrying their share of the load. If she had the chance to do things all over again, I think she would relish the opportunity to have a more equitable distribution of household responsibilities and to go out into the working world. This is one of those things I wish I had talked to mom about but, the more I think about it, I am sure that

Betty Would Love That!

We plan to publish a new post every Monday, so stayed tuned for our next one entitled “For the Love of the Game”.