Edison, Eat Your Heart Out.

As we all know, Thomas invented the light bulb and various other items that we still use today. In our previous post, When Your Focus is Out of Focus, I shared my tendency to zone out and lose myself in distracting thoughts. Well, I’m pleased to inform you that when my mind starts to wander, I often channel Thomas Edison, so I have a few inventions of my own that I would like to share with you. I just hope they don’t go the way of things like the remote control headband, the butter stick, (this is like chap stick but it is butter instead), and the phone fingers. These were actually invented and you can check them out on the net.

But back to me and my inventions. Here we go with what I think are some of my more remarkable and potentially revenue producing ideas:

Prescription Windshields

One day I was reading an article about the increase in auto theft in the town where I live. I thought to myself, what is the point? Criminals are always going to find a way to build a better mouse trap. In other words if they want your car bad enough they will find a way to take it. This really irritated me so I shifted into creative mode and as I was driving to work it occurred to me that the answer was prescription windshields

The idea is to have your windshields be the same prescription as your glasses, if you wear them. I am not talking about just the front windshield, but all the windows in your car. Imagine if you will, someone trying to steal your car, and they can’t see where they are going, because either a) they don’t wear glasses or b) their prescription isn’t the same as yours.

I think this is brilliant, and I am hoping to pitch my idea to the car insurance people to see what they have to say. I know they will be impressed and eager to buy my idea, as this will reduce the amount of money they have to pay out in claims, and I will be finally be able to retire.

The only down fall I could come up with is what if you don’t wear glasses, and will the passengers in your car get dizzy from staring out a window because the prescription is not the same as theirs? Just as I am finishing off the last sentence here I am thinking that a retinal scanner could help as well, but until that happens, I am confident that my invention will serve as the beginning of a new and futuristic prototype for automobile safety.

Heated Tires

On occasion we get snow where I live, and rest assured as soon this is mentioned in the forecast, people start to lose their minds. When I tell you people lose their minds, they really do. They rush off to their local garage to get their snow tires put on their car, or rush out and buy some snow tires because they don’t have any. And of course there are those silly people who don’t think they need snow tires and set out on the road anyway. Snow tires or not, the city just becomes one giant mess and it takes hours instead of minutes to get to your destination.

What is the solution to all of this craziness? Well my friends, it’s heated snow tires. This would make life so much easier for everyone, especially for those folks who don’t get their streets plowed when it snows, and yes there are some areas where snow plows are afraid to go. Once the temperature starts to drop and the roads freeze, this is the perfect setting for a disaster, but I aim to save thousands, if not millions of lives with this invention….and make a little bit of money in the process.

Picture this. You get up in the morning, look out your window and the roads outside your house are an icy mess, but you’re not afraid, because you have heated snow tires. Once you get in your car you just flip the switch that says “press here for heated snow tires”. You pull out of your drive way confident and safe in the knowledge that once your tires hit the road, the ice and snow will melt, and you will arrive safely at your destination.

I know there are a couple of glitches with this. For instance, how hot do the tires have to be to melt the snow, let alone melt the tires, and will this feature be standard if you buy a new car? I have to think this one through a little more.

Ejector Seats on Gym Equipment

This idea came to me one day, when I was at the gym, and wanted to use a piece of equipment. I noticed this person taking a long time on the equipment, because in between sets they were on their cell phone. Yes, this is what the world has come to. People can’t even leave their phones in their locker when they work out. When I go to the gym I want to leave the world behind me and focus on my workout, so I leave my phone in a locker. To each his own I suppose, but I find it seriously irritating.

My solution to this is simple. When you are going to use a piece of equipment you have to unlock it with your scan card. Once you have done that the machine unlocks, the timer starts and you have 10 minutes to finish using that machine. What happens after 10 minutes? Its simple, the machine locks, and you’re ejected into the air. Don’t worry, you will land gently into a giant pit filled with pieces of foam. My guess is you won’t ever again over stay the alloted 10 minutes. By the way you can only use the machine once, because when you scan it to unlock, it will record how many times that day you have used the machine (The alternative to this would be a gentle shock to remind you that your time is up, but I prefer the ejector seat as a more effective deterrent.) I am planning on reaching out to Golds Gym to see if they would be interested.

I have a couple of other ideas I’m working on, such as pockets in football pants (to give players a place to put their hands, instead of on their shoulder pads), and air bags for hockey and football helmets. Stay tuned, and l will let you know how these go.

If you have any ideas you would like to share, please do. I would be happy to offer advice on prototypes, focus groups and patent applications. In this dog eat dog world, we creative minds have to support each other.

Footnote: FYI, I have patents pending on all of the above, so please don’t think for a minute that you can steal my ideas (and the fame and fortune they will no doubt bring.)

We plan on publishing a new post every Monday so stay tuned for our next one entitled “Have You Met Your Match?”