“Working 9 to 5”

Recently Little Sis, the only sister still gainfully employed, had the opportunity to apply for a new job. She painted a vivid picture of the interview process at our latest Sisterhood planning meeting and as is often the case, it resulted in a marathon analytical session with Big and Middle offering their thoughts.

Little Sis has been in the workforce for 25+ years and has had many interviews. You could say she is a serial job applicant. 😊 Or you could say she just likes going to interviews…..Who knows? This particular interview had the usual standard questions, but there were some really interesting ones which were perhaps aimed at a younger demographic. She was not offended but rather curious about the possibility of interview questions that might be more suited to someone her age.

On that note, with all the worker shortages we’ve been hearing about and the fact that people are choosing not to retire as early as they once did, we wondered what a job interview might be like for someone in their senior years (with our tongues planted firmly in our cheeks and a few glasses of wine loosening those tongues).

We pause momentarily to take a sip of wine. 🍷

Cue the flashback music. With visions of Dolly, Jane and Lily in mind, picture this. Little Sis is seated at a table surrounded by a panel of three people. She appears calm and confident. Helen Reddy’s “I am Woman Hear me Roar” is running through her head, followed by Shania Twain’s “You go Girl.” With a smile and a nod of her head she makes eye contact with her inquisitors. Bring it on!

We pause momentarily for another sip of wine. 🍷🍷

And the interview begins with the Sisterhood Approved Questions for Senior Job Applicants:

Q: How do you feel about reporting to someone who is 20 years your junior?

A: As long as they don’t ask to borrow my car, loan them money or tell me how hard they partied on the weekend, I guess I would be fine with it.

Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 Years?

A: Not working here, and very much retired. Sitting on my couch crocheting scarves for all my former co-workers. Do you have a favourite color?

Q: What computer skills do you have?

A: I own one, and I can type, sort of. My kids keep telling me they want me to get a Mac, whatever that is, but I prefer my Commodore 64. I play Solitaire every day and I am an online Scrabble champ!

Q: Do you have access to Zoom?

A:You mean the sound a car makes? My grandkids like to call me on Zoom but I can never remember my password or what button to push. They usually just give up. Wait, what was the question again?

Q; We start at 8am and go until 5 pm with a 30 minute break for lunch and two 15 minute coffee breaks. Will that work for you?

A: Well, I take my osteoporosis medication at 7:00 and I can’t do anything for an hour after that, so I wouldn’t be able to be here until 9:00. And I may have to take more coffee breaks because when my blood pressure medication kicks in, I have to visit the little girls room a few times, if you know what I mean. Ummm…staying until 5:00 might also be a problem. I would hate to miss the “Early Bird Special” at Denny’s.

Q: What are your strengths and weaknesses?

A: My strength would have to be that I bring bran muffins for my coworkers on Fridays, just to start the weekend off on a happy note. But sometimes I can’t remember what I am doing or why I walked into a room. I occasionally talk to myself. Don’t worry, I don’t answer. Oh, and I have a tendency to nod off mid morning but that won’t impact my performance. You just have to bang on my desk a few times and I am immediately alert and back on the job. I’ll just take a short nap on my lunch hour to compensate.

Q: In the unlikely event we have to evacuate the building for an emergency do you require assistance?

A: If the event is unlikely why are you asking? In the event of an actual emergency, then yes, I would need some assistance, especially with my walker. A head start would also be appreciated.

Q: How would you describe yourself, in one word?

A: Are you kidding me? What kind of a question is that? Are we talking pre or post menopausal?

Q: Finally, in accordance with our workplace safety policies, do you need any accommodations to ensure your safety and comfort?

A: Well, I would appreciate it if you use a large font when sending texts and emails, and I hope you don’t mind if the ring tone on my phone is turned up to maximum. Also I wear a hearing aid and I’ve been told I have a tendency to scream during conversations. But otherwise, no, it’s all good.

Whew! Great answers Little Sis. Did she get the job? Yes indeed. This girl is on fire!🔥 Further proof that there is real value in hiring older workers, as long as they get unlimited coffee breaks, advance notice of evacuation orders, can start their work day based on their medication schedule, can nap when needed and computer skills aren’t really necessary.

Let’s have one more wee sip of wine to celebrate the Senior work force.

Betty would love that!🍷