Changing of the Guard

I was saddened by the passing of Queen Elizabeth and in reading about what this would mean to the Royal Family, the phrase “changing of the guard” caught my eye. This got me to thinking about the changes that we all face as we age and how we navigate the changing of the guard in our family.

Home Away From Home

As Mom and Dad aged, Big and Little Sis gradually took on a bigger role in their lives. Driving them to appointments and hosting family dinners was now a regular occurrence. And now mom was a guest in our houses as opposed to us being a guest in hers.

After Dad passed the roles continued to shift with we children providing Mom with the support she needed. As was her character, all the suggestions we made to her about managing life on her own were accepted with a smile and an agreeable “if that’s what you think is best.”

No better example of her accepting the changing of the guard was when it came time to sell the home that Mom and Dad lived in for over 30 years. I’m sure it was very difficult for Mom leaving all those memories behind, but she accepted that it was necessary and carried on with a positive attitude.

And to no one’s surprise Mom flourished, making many new friends and diving into all kinds of new activities, during the five years she happily lived in a seniors residence until her passing.

Driving Miss Betty

When Mom moved into the seniors residence she was still driving and enjoyed being able to zip around in her little red Honda Civic. But another big changing of the guard moment came when it was time for her to stop driving. This was such a hard decision as we knew it would dramatically affect her independence, but to her credit, Mom agreed without any fuss and hung up her car keys. Always one to find a silver lining, Mom was happy that this change meant we would be able to spend more time with her.

So, we went from Mom driving us everywhere when we were children to us driving her wherever she needed to go. A full circle moment if there ever was one. And now, with one grandchild driving and two more not far behind, it feels to me like it might be the start of another full circle moment.

What Goes Around Comes Around

Another reason this whole changing of the guard idea has been on my mind was watching Big Sis’ children put together a wonderful 50th anniversary party for their parents this summer. They took the helm on all aspects of the soiree and all we of the senior set had to do was show up and enjoy ourselves! And indeed we did, although, I do think we raised a few eyebrows with our lame attempt at line dancing, but we did kick butt on the 70s trivia challenge!

When I think about how things are changing in my family, I find that we are more often taking up our childrens’ offer to cook or do the driving and of course there is our ever present need for their tech support.😂

We look forward every summer to our whole family spending time at our house. We have days busy with summer fun and it is a wonderful time for everyone to kick back, relax and spend some time together. But I do find each year it takes a little bit longer to regain my energy after everyone goes home. That said, I wouldn’t trade this time together for anything.

These are all small changes I’ve noticed to be sure, but I wonder if we shouldn’t think of them as giving us practice for when we face the bigger things we’ll have to grapple with as we age and look increasingly to our children for support. The good news is that mom set a beautiful example for us of how to navigate our “changing of the guard” with grace, acceptance and good humour. And this I know for sure:

Betty Would Love That!