I’m Too Old For This

I recently turned 72, and although I recognize the wisdom that comes with age, I don’t particularly feel wise. What I do feel is much younger. In fact, my brain clearly thinks I am somewhere in the vicinity of my early 60s and on a good day my late 50s. Hence, I had no qualms whatsoever when Hubby proposed a trip to Portugal. This was to be our first big expedition since the pandemic and even if our travelling skills were a bit rusty, there was a distinct aura of enthusiasm in the air. We were ready to do it!

When I told a friend of our plans, she too was enthusiastic but she asked if this was to be a vacation or an adventure. I was momentarily taken aback. In my mind, they were one and the same. She kindly proceeded to clarify that in fact, they were entirely different. A vacation is synonymous with relaxation. There is no timetable, no deadlines to meet and one does whatever one wants, whenever one wants, often simply staying put in one place. An adventure on the other hand is movement, activity, carefully detailed plans with specific goals. In short, one is leisurely while the other is constant motion with a schedule to be followed.

To be honest, I didn’t give her theory any thought at all. I naively assumed we were going on a vacation. Little did I know that for all intents and purposes, we were going on an adventure. And into the chaos we plunged.

So What’s the Plan?

Hubby is a planner and he enjoys searching the web for deals and interesting excursions, while I am too lazy to give those details much thought. I am easily distracted, thus, trusting soul that I am, I pretty much agreed to Hubby’s itinerary and got on with my day. That was mistake number one.

And after our itinerary was finalized, we decided to just take carry on luggage. We were connecting through London Heathrow and it is notorious for not transferring bags on time. This was not my perfect scenario but I decided to go with the flow. I mean after all, what could possibly go wrong? That was mistake number two.

*I do want to clarify that I take full responsibility for any dilemmas that ensued. I should have been far more proactive in this phase of the trip.

Let’s Get Packing

Remember the good old days when packing meant throwing a few things in a suitcase or back pack without a second thought? Well those days are long gone. In my case, packing has become an entirely different exercise. In addition to your standard clothes and toiletries, there are now other necessities and the list is long my friends. It screams “old person.”

• comfortable shoes and toe separators (I have bunions)
• medications (that’s an issue in itself)
• hearing aids and ear plugs
• dental aligners (yes, I am enhancing my smile)
• prescription sunglasses (to guard against cataracts)

In the interests of time and your attention, let’s just summarize. At this point, we are packed. We each have a carry on suitcase and a back pack. They are filled to capacity and heavy.

What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Well, let’s start with the security line at our departure airport. We are that elderly clueless couple who packed too many toiletries in their carry ons and are holding everyone up as they are removed for inspection. Apparently you have to be able to close the bag. Who knew? Fortunately, the humiliation is short lived and we move on, but this is not a good sign.

Next the crux of what will likely be our most challenging issue. Hubby hurt his hand recently. It is swollen and painful so he will be unable to help in the lifting department. Although that doesn’t sound earth shattering, we are now that elderly clueless couple holding up both boarding and deplaning as we struggle with our luggage.

Finally, upon arrival in Portugal we are approached by someone who appears to be a taxi driver, but we soon realize that he can’t speak English and we are in a strange car in a strange city. Uh oh. It dawns on us that we could be in potential danger. I glance at hubby but he ignores me because he knows what I am thinking and I know that he knows (we’ve been married for 50 years, so we have perfected non verbal communication) It’s a tad tense to say the least.

The driver eventually drops us off with vague instructions that our hotel is 200 metres in that direction. Thankfully he is correct and we arrive safely at our hotel. We congratulate ourselves on getting this far but one wonders if we were victims because we look elderly and clueless? This is becoming a worrisome theme.

I Could Go On and On…

In the interests of time and brevity, I will once again summarize. There were many ups and downs and so in no particular order,

The Ups:

• There is so much history in Portugal. It is a fascinating country with warm, friendly people.
• There is lots of seafood. This is particularly important for my husband who orders octopus as often as possible. Me, not so much.
• The scenery is varied and spectacular. The Atlantic coastline is beautiful.
• GPS makes driving almost effortless. We do have the occasional difference of opinion but at no point was our marriage in jeopardy. This is a happy change from past foreign driving experiences.

The Downs:

• I struggle with timing my medications to match the timing at home. Given that there is a nine hour difference, its a haphazard process and I’m not very successful.
• I am constantly in search of my hearing aids. I can’t seem to keep track of them.
• We struggle with train travel. The stations are big and confusing. Worried that we will miss a train, we arrive well before departure….and wait. Our luggage must be stored overhead so we are once again that elderly clueless couple holding things up.
• Apparently tips for customer service are not expected in Portugal. We learn this at the end of the trip.
• The streets are cobblestone and steep. Not ideal for seniors with foot issues. Enough said.
• Oh…and I can’t control my hair. The humidity makes it go curly.😔

One Last Thing

After two weeks, our trip has come to an end. We are packed and ready to go home. If we are honest, we are more than ready, but fate isn’t finished with us yet. When we arrive at the airport for our departure, we are informed that our flight is delayed. There is extreme weather in London and they don’t want us to take off. Well this is concerning. We have a tight connection in London and we’re in danger of missing our flight home. An hour later we take off. Time remaining to make our connection, one hour.

Upon arrival in London, we now have to change terminals and go through Passport Control and Security. The lines for both are long and move at a snail’s pace. Time is ticking away and we are frantic. Finally we are through and race to our gate (Remember we have carry ons and back packs. It’s exhausting). Miraculously they haven’t finished boarding and we sink into our seats with a huge sigh of relief. High five, we made it!

But fate is in a really bad mood. The weather has again turned nasty and we sit on the tarmac for two hours. All that rushing and stress for nothing.

We arrive home to pouring rain and wind. We’re exhausted but happy to be back on familiar territory.

I Need a Vacation

So, let’s recap. Hubby and I went to Portugal. It was an adventure. We had lots of challenges. The good news is we’re home safe, covid free and much wiser. The potentially bad news? We’ve booked a Christmas Market Cruise in December. Stay tuned…. 😲