Unsolicited Retirement Advice For Little Sis

Big and Middle Sis have both been retired for a number of years now and both have adjusted remarkably well to this dramatic, life changing event. In contrast, Little Sis appears destined to continue her employment for the immediate future. That hasn’t stopped Big and Middle, however, from offering words of retirement wisdom on a regular basis, but it is our belief that to date, it has mostly gone unheeded. Convinced that Little is in need of a comprehensive and informed plan, well in advance of retirement, we offer the following invaluable advice, born of real life experience. Listen up Little….we’re talking to you.🤔

We Have Advice

We want to emphasize that we are by no means “retirement gurus” and we offer advice in a spirit of generosity and benevolence. We truly want to share our thoughts and recommendations in order to ensure a smooth transition to happy and secure golden years for our beloved Sister, whenever that might be. Conversely, we take no responsibility for any unfortunate circumstances which might arise as a result of following our advice.

Retirement is typically depicted as a time to relax, enjoy the fruits of your labor and do whatever you want, whenever you want….blah,blah, blah. In fact, it is our contention that retirement can indeed be a wonderful life stage, but there is also room for disappointment and disillusion. So, lets get serious. You need a plan Little Sis, hence we offer a series of modest proposals that we truly believe will serve you well.

Fiscal Management

Of course the first thing everyone thinks about when retiring is how they will manage on a “fixed income.” And while being mindful of your finances is extremely important, retirement offers a wealth of opportunity to show your creative side while spending responsibly. Let’s take a closer look…

Adjusting your meal schedule so that you can take advantage of early bird restaurant specials is a good start. This should not be a problem if you also adjust your sleep schedule to adopt the “early to bed, early to rise” maxim. It is advisable to develop a comprehensive list of restaurants that offer early bird/senior specials. This will make your planning so much easier and accommodate the odd memory lapse.

With all the extra time retirement will bring, you can collect coupons and fliers to get the best deals when shopping. You should also consider watching “Extreme Couponing” on TV for inspiration.

Birthdays offer a very special opportunity to stretch your retirement dollars. It is entirely possible to have a free breakfast, lunch and dinner on your birthday and if you play your cards right you can combine this with a senior discount and actually make a profit!

Planning your meal schedule on Saturdays around a visit to Costco to take advantage of the food samples is another money saving technique. It is entirely possible to have a filling, somewhat nutritious lunch doing this and as a bonus, you will also receive coupons. Saturday is by far the best day for the number of samples on offer, but remember to get there early as this is quite a well known strategy among the senior set.

Pushing the boundaries of creativity, cutting your own hair offers the opportunity not only to save money, but also the chance to learn a new skill. It is however an absolute must to have someone close by to tell you when your bangs are crooked and to cut off the hair you couldn’t reach at the back of your head.

Social Butterfly

We hear so much these days about the importance of social connections in maintaining mental health. Fortunately, retirement offers a wealth of opportunities to make new friends now that the time constraints around working are no longer an issue. Once again retirement offers the chance to think “outside the box” when doing this.

Bringing dog treats for all the dogs at the dog park can provide an instant connection with other dog parents. You could also consider bringing cookies for the humans too, but this must be handled very carefully to avoid crossing over into the creepy zone.

The grocery store also provides a wealth of opportunities to forge friendships in the check out line. Just be sure to pick the longest lineup so that you have more time to engage with fellow shoppers. And if your adjusted sleep schedule (as above) means you can visit the grocery store early, all the better, as there will be lots of shelf stockers to talk to also.

Probably the best advice we could offer where making new friends is concerned would be to ask yourself the question “What would Betty do?” Our mom Betty was a master at engaging with people and making new friends wherever she went. Her method was fool proof.

It’s simple really. Just smile, lean forward slightly and look people in the eye and keep looking and looking and looking. It is virtually impossible for them to ignore you. It works best on other seniors but don’t expect perfect results. Some people will definitely think you’re a nut case and younger people are probably looking at their phone anyway.

Living La Vida Loca

Of course, the thing we all look forward to in retirement is having the time to pursue hobbies and interests.

Visiting the library is a fiscally responsible way to fill your mind with new stories and ideas. It can also provide the added bonus of allowing you to brush up on your Dewey Decimal skills by spending time checking that books are shelved in proper order. But do remember that the quiet atmosphere means limited opportunity for socializing. However, if you do discover books that are not properly catalogued, it can be the perfect opportunity for a spirited discussion with library staff.

Now that there is no nine to five schedule to work around, movie matinees offer the perfect opportunity to catch up on the latest films without fighting with crowds. You do however have to be vigilant with the popcorn as it can be from the night before and it is advised to avoid the back row of seats to avoid any unpleasant surprises…

In a similar vein, with plenty of time on your hands you can now binge watch your favourite shows on streaming channels with abandon. And if you are able to avoid paying for the streaming channels by getting on a relative’s account all the better! Taking this strategy one step further, you could also make use of your neighbour’s WIFI. After all a penny saved is a penny earned and luckily, you will have the time to figure out how to do this.

And the last piece of advice is perhaps most important. At all costs avoid retiring at the same time as your significant other. If this is not possible, it is of utmost importance to have a strategy that gets you out of the house for long periods of time and failing this, buy your spouse a golf membership as a retirement gift.

Little Sis Has The Last Word

Little Sis Here. I would to like to weigh in. Yes, at some point down the road I am planning on retiring, and starting the next chapter of my life. The problem is not so much what to do, but rather the unsolicited advice I always get from these two. I appreciate what they have to say, and sometimes the advice is really good, and other times things don’t work so well. I guess the free advice is part and parcel of being the last of five kids.

We plan on doing a new blog post every Monday so stay tuned for our next one entitled “The Eyes Have It.”