🎵What Do You Get…

As you may know this was a big year for me, celebrating 50 years of marriage and turning 70. I feel very fortunate to have reached both of these milestones and so, if you’ll indulge me, I think a little navel gazing is in order. And rest assured dear reader that, if you recognized the first couple of titles here as the Dionne Warwick song from the 70s, my story does not involve “a guy with a pin to burst your bubble…” but rather is a happy, grateful one.

When You Fall In Love (and are married 50 years)

Firstly, you are not wrong if you calculated that I was married at 20 – practically a child bride by today’s standard. But 50 years ago it was not so unusual, especially if you factor in that I had graduated university and was in the working world, living on my own. And as they say today, “when you know, you know.”

Like all “how we met” stories, ours has a twist in that it was an old boyfriend who actually set the wheels in motion for my husband and I to meet. And when I saw that big, handsome guy standing at my apartment door, I was definitely intrigued. After all, who can resist a man in uniform. Now don’t get me wrong, the handsome guy in a uniform got me interested, but the kind, caring, positive person with an amazing strength of character that I got to know over time is what sealed the deal for me.

And so, after jumping through all the RCMP hoops – family criminal record checks, financial disclosure statements and obtaining official permission to marry (yes, you read that right, we had to ask for permission) we were getting married! On November 9, 1974 it was official and the adventure began.

When our first RCMP transfer came, moving us to a tiny construction town in northern BC where we would be living in a company owned trailer with our baby daughter, I knew that our married life would be anything but typical. And now, eleven transfers, 34 years of service later, and well settled into retirement, I can look back and say there were unique challenges and things we had to learn to cope with.

Things like finding a suitable place to live in five days in a town you have never visited, how the kids would adjust to yet another move, and concern about my husband’s safety and the impact of what he dealt with on a daily basis in his work. But there were some real gifts too. We got to see and experience many different communities and ways of life, meeting so many interesting people along the way. And the silver lining in all of these challenges was that it ultimately strengthened our marriage and helped us build a strong family unit.

Opposites Attract

What we probably didn’t realize early on in our relationship was that we definitely fall into the opposites attract category. My husband loves to work out, run marathons and triathlons. Me, not so much. I love to sit by the fire reading a good book. He is a beacon of positivity. I tend to be a bit of a pessimist (which I prefer to call realistic🤣). He is of the belief that money is for spending and I am, as he affectionately refers to me, the “Budget Queen.” He is spontaneous and I am a planner to the nth degree. I am a morning person and he likes a good sleep in. Despite all these differences, somehow it has worked for all these years. We have been able to forge a loving union that has grown and evolved over time.

When You Turn 70

As my birthday approached, I expressed to a friend that I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that my 70th birthday was coming up and she reminded me that turning 70 is much better than the alternative… So true, and when I really thought about it, I realized what I have in my 70th year is a lot of gratitude for a full, rich life and the fact that I am, as my husband likes to say, still upright and smiling.

So what wisdom do I have to impart now that I am the ripe old age of 70? Well, I’m not sure I have anything revolutionary to say but there are some things I think are worth noting.

Home Sweet Home

We lived in many different houses over the years – some big, some small, both rural and urban, and what I can attest to is that the old axiom is true: a house does not make a home, it is the people living within those four walls and the relationships they have with each other that makes a it a home. Also, don’t make your house beige just because you are worried about resale value. Paint the room red if you want to!

Grandchildren Are The Best

In my experience it is true that being a grandparent is the best job in the world. Essentially you get all the fun things and none of the sticky problems to deal with. It has been an absolute joy watching our children create their own families, become parents and raise kind, caring, thoughtful children. I just wish we were closer so that we could spend more time together.

Time Flies

Whoever said the days are long but the years are short in reference to raising children was correct, but from my perspective now, the days and the years are both short. The older I get the faster they seem to pass. So I am trying to spend more time on things I want to do and less on things I don’t want to do, and also saying yes more often!

It’s at times like this that I find myself thinking of our mom. She loved a good party and was pretty much up for any adventure. She was kind, helpful and friendly and I only wish I had told her more often what a special person she was. Since I can no longer tell her, instead I try to emulate her best qualities and often ask myself “what would Betty do” when making a decision.

Cel-e-brate Good Times

Our family threw us a wonderful party to celebrate our anniversary and my birthday. It was a memorable evening at a beautiful country club, complete with excellent food, great company and a dance party. They thought of everything including a family photo shoot to mark the occasion.

Our whole family was there including all six grandchildren – a logistical feat given that they have two very busy households with the grandchildren all going in different directions at any given time. It meant a lot to both of us that they were all able to be there. Big Sis and her hubby attended representing the siblings and the Sisterhood. Little Sis was unable to be there due to a work commitment.😢

The whole evening was so thoughtfully done right down to the last detail. I was presented with a re-creation of my wedding bouquet when we walked in the room along with a birthday tiara and banner. I felt like the belle of the ball! Fresh flowers and balloons were everywhere and my favourite drink was served. Our son and daughter were MCs and the grandchildren gave me permission to let the tears flow when they made sure I had lots of tissue.

A highlight of the evening was not one but two slide shows. The family put together a beautiful celebration of our life together while the Sisterhood focused theirs on the birthday girl. We loved both of them although I must admit to being a bit traumatized that the Sisterhood provided our grandchildren with pictures of their grandmother’s unusual fashion and hairstyle choices of her youth and a video of a questionable dance performance. In an effort to ease my trauma, I present a video of our anniversary first dance which is a much more accurate representation of my dancing style🤣and is also a memory of a very special evening that we will treasure forever. Thank you.❤️