Hello Stranger

It happened a few months ago, but occasionally it resurfaces and always brings a smile. What is “It”, you might ask? Well, I was out for a leisurely walk on a beautiful sunny day and a man approached in my direction. As our paths crossed, he smiled and said,” I just have to tell you that you’re looking great today.” I was stopped dead in my tracks…metaphorically speaking anyway. 😉I did, however, manage a rather weak “thank you” as he kept on walking.

I suspect I am one of very few people who have ever had such an encounter. People simply don’t interact with strangers, and I am sure you can guess the impact that this unexpected and spontaneous encounter had on me. Yes, it put a huge smile on my face but it also made me wonder why such events are so rare.

Just think about that for a moment. I mean really think about it. Perhaps you have smiled at a stranger but when was the last time you engaged in conversation with one beyond that smile? It’s likely that most of us have no recollection.

For clarification, I’m defining conversation as more than “hello,” which, if you think about it, actually sets the bar pretty low. This would mean that comments such as “I like your shoes (or whatever it is that you genuinely like) or “Can you believe the price of butter?” (or now a days, pretty much any grocery item you might choose) would qualify as a conversation. I repeat, it’s a pretty low bar.

For further clarification, I am defining a “stranger” as someone you don’t know. 😉

My interest in this topic was spurred by a recent Michael Buble Instagram post. He wrote that he had experienced an interaction similar to mine. In passing, a stranger wished him a good day and commented on his shoes. Like me, he was both surprised and touched and he interpreted it as a kindness, partly because he didn’t think the person recognized him as a celebrity.

If you look at it through a kindness lens, it again begs the question, “Why are such encounters so rare?” I suspect that the main reason would be that we are afraid of rejection. Have you ever attempted to connect with a stranger and received an odd look in response, or even no response? Ouch! That can hurt the fragile ego. Or perhaps you have managed to engage with a stranger and beyond the initial contact there is silence. Ouch again! Yes, there is risk involved and many of us prefer to avoid it.

If you do manage to engage with a stranger, however, there can be surprising mutual benefits. Knowing you have brightened someone else’s day can be a gift of kindness to both the stranger and yourself. Even though you may never see each other again, you both walk away feeling a bit better for having taken a risk and connected. It’s a beautiful thing.

Betty Would Love That

This of course brings me full circle to Mom. No one knew the benefits of connecting with others better than Betty. It was her super power, and she routinely used a smile as a gateway to possible conversation.☺️Her daily walks were a thing to behold…a magnificent spectacle of smiling at everything and everyone, resulting in at the very least, a responding smile and often greetings of hello from people she didn’t know. It was her mission and she was intrepid!

Trips to the grocery store with her, were marathons of “Hi Betty” and inquiries on her part about family and other related topics for her favorite clerks. Starbucks was a daily stop and a special place for Mom. When she was spotted in the line up she would usually find her preferred drink ready for her along with a friendly note on the cup sleeve.

The Sisterhood has long acknowledged and appreciated Mom’s unique talent but only recently decided that perhaps it is something to be emulated. And so, in tribute to her, the Sisterhood has decided to declare “Smile at a Stranger Day.” Each of us will declare a day of our choosing and smile at strangers until our face hurts. It will obviously be non scientific research, but research nonetheless. We will report at a later date once all results have been tabulated. Now that’s something to look forward to…..right? Until then, keep smiling, especially at strangers.😊